Week 13: Let’s get weird

I’m dedicating this week’s post to two of my favorite new TV shows, “American Horror Story” and “Workaholics”. You should be watching both. Just sayin’.
So as my man Adam would say, “Let’s get weird!”
Laurent Robinson, a guy who was on waivers in most leagues for the first six weeks of the season, has more touchdowns (7) than Steve Smith (5), Mike Wallace (6), Larry Fitzgerald (6), Brandon Marshall (3), Roddy White (4) or Hakeem Nicks (4).
All seven of Robinson’s touchdowns have come in the last five weeks. Miles Austin is supposed to be back this weekend — we’ll see if he gets the Felix Jones treatment or not.
Neither Steve Johnson nor Dez Bryant has had a 100-yard receiving day yet this year.
Beanie Wells’ eight rushing touchdowns trail only Adrian Peterson and LeSean McCoy among RB’s.
Kenny Britt hasn’t played since week three and he only played 9 quarters of football all season before his knee disintegrated. Yet his 60 fantasy points are still better than a number of wide receivers who have played every single snap of every single game. Greg Little (58). Harry Douglas (57). Mike Thomas (53). Oh what could have been.
Antonio Brown is 16th in the league in receiving yards (707), yet he has just one touchdown and his longest catch of the year went for just 34 yards. Brown has just two red zone receptions all season long.
Tampa Bay’s Mike Williams has 52 receptions on 98 targets! Either he has feet for hands or Josh Freeman is worse than anyone ever thought. His longest catch of the year has gone for a whopping 23 yards.
John Skelton has played in nine games in his professional career. Against the Eagles several weeks ago, Skelton threw for 315 yards and three touchdowns. In his other eight games, Skelton has combined to throw three touchdowns and eclipsed 200 yards passing just once, in a game that went into overtime.
Rex Grossman has thrown more touchdowns than interceptions just twice in eight games started.
With Rob Gronkowski and Jimmy Graham, we are seeing history in the making at the tight end position. Both could break multiple records if they keep up their current pace.
The single season yardage mark by a tight end is currently held by Kellen Winslow Sr., who amassed 1,290 in 1980. Gronkowski is on pace for 1,256 yards, Graham is on pace for 1392.
The single season record for tight end touchdowns is 13, shared by Vernon Davis and Antonio Gates. Gronkowski already has 12 with five games to play. Graham has 8.
Tony Gonzalez holds the single season record for most receptions by a tight end, 102 in 2004. Graham is currently on pace to haul in 98 catches, Gronkowski 87.
Everyone loves to rip Rex Grossman for being a turnover machine, but Philip Rivers has been getting a pass. Rivers leads the league with a whopping 21 giveaways (17 interceptions, four fumbles). Even Cam Newton, who has rushed the ball 86 times, has lost two fumbles all year.
More evidence that Mike Shanahan is insane. Ryan Torain has been given 55 carries and only able to garner 192 yards on the ground. Roy Helu has rushed just 19 more times, but put up nearly twice as many yards. Plus, Helu has 38 receptions — Torain 4. I don’t care if Helu couldn’t block Christina Aguilera from a buffet line, he needs to be the featured guy.
Chad Ochocinco has been targeted 23 times all season long, in one of the most pass-heavy offenses in the league. That’s the same number of targets as Bernard Berrian, who has been working at Jiffy Lube since October. Chad is still owned in nearly 20 percent of all leagues. Now that is weird!

Put ’em in
QB: Tim Tebow at MIN: I’m not going to get into the whole Tebow thing, I’m just going to give you some stats. Minnesota gives up more QB points than any other team. They’ve allowed 22 touchdown passes and made just six INT’s. They don’t have an interception since week 5. The Vikings signed Eagles cast-off Jarrad Page this week and were happy about it!
RB1: LeGarrette Blount vs. CAR: After a slow start, Blount seems to be rounding into shape, much like he did in his rookie year. Back to back 100 yard games, but what gets me even more excited is the fact that he caught a career high three passes last week. The Panthers give up more points to RB’s than any other team, which includes 5-100 yard games and touchdowns to opposing running backs in 9 of 11 games.
RB2: Reggie Bush vs. OAK: Bush saw his TD streak end at three games last week, but it’s still clear he is the goal line back in MIA. But what I like best about this matchup is Bush out of the backfield. The Raiders have given up 527 receiving yard to running backs this year, fourth worst in the league.
WR1: Ben Obamanu vs. PHI: A funny thing has happened over the last several weeks. The Eagles have started playing the run well (Matt Forte the only big game allowed since week 5), but at the same time, their secondary has gone to pot. Sidney Rice is out with a concussion, leaving Ben Obamanu as the man with the plan. Looking at this Seattle team, I have no idea how they have won a single game.
WR2: Nate Burleson at NO: Calvin Johnson owners have got to love getting the garbage time Thanksgiving touchdown, but also should be worried. Teams know they can’t let Megatron beat them and he is getting double and even triple covered. You saw what Victor Cruz did against the Saints as the number two WR. I guarantee a touchdown for big Nate.
WR3: Michael Crabtree vs. STL: Crabtree is the best option the Niners have, which isn’t saying much. But he has had 9+ targets in four of the last six games. And the Rams can’t stop any wide receivers (unless John Skelton is throwing the ball).
TE: Jermichael Finley at NYG: One of the biggest disappointments on the year. Take out the Chicago game in week 3 and Finley has 29 catches, 428 yards and two touchdowns. After starting the season off as one of the best defenses against the tight end, the Giants have gone in the dumper the last four weeks. Five tight end touchdowns allowed in four games and 33 receptions for 395 yards in that same span.
D/ST: Patriots vs. IND: After starting the season as one of the worst defenses, the Pats have turned things up these last three weeks. 13 points per game, 10 sacks, 7 forced turnovers and now Dan Orlovsky. Good times.

Take ’em out
QB: Joe Flacco at CLE: It would be easy to say Colt McCoy, but you know that already. The team that has allowed the second fewest passing TD’s? Your Cleveland Browns! Is it because they are so pathetic against the run? No doubt. But that’s good enough reason to sit the former Green Waver in week 13.
RB1: Arian Foster vs. ATL: You know you aren’t going to take out Arian Foster. I know you aren’t going to take out Arian Foster. But this is going to be a bumpy one. Reason  No. 1: TJ Yates. God only knows. Reason No. 2: Atlanta’s run D has been spectacular, yet to allow a 100-yard rusher this year. Foster is the best runner they have seen since LeSean McCoy in week 2, so we’ll find out this weekend if they are for real or not.
RB2: Toby Gerhart vs. DEN: AP is expected to miss another game, meaning we have to watch the Great White Wonder do his thing once again. Gerhart found the endzone last week, but was unspectacular, averaging 2.6 ypc. Denver has allowed just one rushing TD by a RB all year long.
WR1: Andre Johnson vs. ATL: Now this Texan you might actually consider benching. Soon to be fired head coach Gary Kubiak said last week that Johnson still is not up to game speed, which was evident by his 2 catch, 22 yard barnburner. TJ Yates yo. TJ Yates.
WR2: Dwayne Bowe at CHI: Bowe is getting a ridiculous amount of targets (10 per game over the last 7 weeks), but unfortunately he has gotten Palko’d. Despite all those looks, Bowe hasn’t scored since week 5. The Bears are playing for their playoff lives and know they will have to win with defense and Forte. Until Orton gets the nod, Bowe is a borderline start.
WR3: Vincent Brown at JAX: Can you believe that the Jaguars give up the second fewest WR points in the league? Brown had an opportunity to take the WR2 job and run with it, but instead he put up two clunkers (four combined catches for 58 yards, despite 14 targets). Malcom Floyd could be back this week and he should have no problem reclaiming his job.
TE: Tony Gonzalez at HOU: Linebackers Demeco Ryans and Brian Cushing have been doing a number on tight ends all season long. The Texans allow the third fewest tight end points and their 36 receptions allowed are the second best in the league. Gonzalez has been hot lately (nine catches on nine targets last week), but week 13 could be a dud.
D/ST: Lions at NO: One of the best early season defenses has hit the skids over the last two games and there is no reason to think that will end on their trip to New Orleans. Not having their best pass rusher to stomp the mole off of Drew Brees’ face won’t help either.
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