Week 7: I’ve eaten some bad juju

I’ve always believed that one of the biggest reasons for the popularity of Fantasy Football is it gives you reason to root against others.
It’s fun to root on your own team. But it’s even more fun to root against your opponents, especially if that fellow owner is in the room with you at the time.
While I’ll never, ever root for a player to suffer a serious injury, I’ll admit that seeing an opponent limp off with a hamstring or a twisted ankle has on occasion put a smile on my face. (Get well soon, Felix!)
Unfortunately, I think some of those bad vibes are coming back to bite me. It’s been a rough couple of weeks, with my fantasy teams on losing streaks and my weekly play’em/sit’em suggestions suffering as well. (I’m looking at you Peyton Hillis!)
So this week, in order to buck the trend, I’m turning lovey dovey. I’m going to offer apologies to those I have chastised. I will right the wrongs of the first six weeks. (But if it doesn’t change things, the old me will be back next week. By the power of Greyskull!)
 Like a recovering alcoholic, I will now make amends to those I have up until now forsaken.
Jay Cutler: You will win a big game on your own. You are not a waste of talent. Your chin is not funny looking. You are the true leader of your team. People do like you.
Tony Romo: Those interceptions are not your fault, it was the wind. Your coach is wrong, you should be allowed to throw the ball late in a game when you are winning on the road against a better team. Jessica Simpson did get fat because you left her. There’s nothing wrong with your new wife having 15 bridesmaids at your wedding.
Chris Johnson: Take your time and get into game shape. You play hard when you feel up to it. Three yards per carry ain’t easy.
Brandon Jacobs: You are not fat, you are husky, and they make the clothes to prove it. You are the reason the Giants won Super Bowl 42. When you come back from injury, you should be the man, not Ahmad Bradshaw.
Steve Smith: You’ve been on my team every year except this one. I’m sorry for what I said about you last season when you caught two touchdowns and gained more than 55 yards just once over the final 12 weeks. You didn’t quit on your team, they quit on you.
Hines Ward: You are not a cheap shot artist, those are clean blocks when you blindside a guy 30 yards away from the play. That breathalyzer was faulty.
Dez Bryant: Walking through the mall with your pants around your knees is classy, don’t change. You aren’t injury prone, you are just delicate. There is a BIG difference. Deion Sanders knows how to teach humility.
Brent Celek: In the 22 games since I bought my son your jersey, you have averaged 2.5 catches and 28 yards per game. I am burning that jersey as we speak.
Sebastian Janikowski: You are thin (compared to an offensive linemen, Kirstie Alley or Chris Christie). Black is not slimming, you should get yourself traded to Tampa Bay. You are 42nd all-time in field goal accuracy and don’t forget it.

Put ’Em In!
QB: Matt Cassell at OAK: It’s the first bye week with some bite (no Vick, Brady, Dalton(!)), so you’re going to have to try a little harder in week 7. After taking a dump in week two, Cassell has turned things around with three straight strong games. The Raiders have given up the third most points to QB’s on the year, including multiple TD passes in 5 straight games. With the ground game still up in the air, Cassell is a great fill-in for the week.
RB1: DeMarco Murray vs STL: Tashard Choice is second on the depth chart, but when Felix Jones went down last week with a sprained ankle, Murray was the one who got the call the rest of the way (10 carries to Choice’s five). St. Louis stinks against the run and could be out of this one rather quickly.
RB2: Mark Ingram vs IND: Another team lousy against the run that could find itself in a big hole right quick. Ingram’s yardage totals have been disappointing, but he has scored in three of the last four games. He is the team’s go to guy in the red zone.
WR1: Greg Little vs SEA: Twenty targets in two games. It sounds like Colt McCoy has found his go-to guy. Little has yet to find the endzone, but that will come in due time. If Little is still on your waiver wire, stop reading this and go grab him. Then come back and finish reading.
WR2: Pierre Garcon at NO: The Saints are still susceptible to the pass, having allowed eight TD’s to wide receivers so far. Garcon is clearly Curtis Painter’s favorite target. If I would have told you that before the season started, you would have likely said ‘That’s nice. Who the hell is Curtis Painter?’ Garcon had 11 balls thrown his way last week, Reggie Wayne had six.
WR3: DeMaryius Thomas at MIA: The trade of Brandon Lloyd opens the door for Thomas, though he is still listed as questionable for this week with an injured finger (Since when does a WR need good fingers?) He’s yet to play at all this season, so don’t expect miracles (despite Tim Tebow’s presence). But Thomas could turn out to be a valuable commodity as the season progresses.
TE1: Kellen Winslow vs CHI: Two constants thus far this year. Winslow has been solid (4.5 catches and 43 yards per game), but unspectacular (0 TD’s and a game high of 66 yards). And the Bears have struggled against tight ends, allowing a league high 40 receptions and five touchdowns.
D/ST: Broncos at MIA: There has been nothing spectacular about the Denver D all season. But we saw on Monday night that Miami is in tanksville.
Since Champ Bailey returned from injury, the Denver secondary has performed much better. For a one week fill-in, Denver is as good as you can hope for.

Take ’em out!
QB: Phillip Rivers at NYJ: The Jets are a mess, except for their secondary, which is holding opposing QB’s to a scant 6.7 points per game. Antonio Gates might be back, but it’s not worth the risk.
RB1: Steven Jackson at DAL: The Cowboys have yet to allow a 100-yard rush and have allowed only one touchdown to a RB all year (way back in week two). They’ve also allowed the fewest receiving yards to RB’s. Jackson will get better, you’ll just have to wait for it.
RB2: Jahvid Best vs ATL: The Falcons have been stingy against the run, but at the same time have allowed four receiving touchdowns by backs, an area Best typically thrives. But Best did not practice on Wednesday and I’d be shocked if he played on Sunday after suffering a concussion last week. Grab Mo Morris if you absolutely need a RB to fill in for Jahvid.
WR1: Plaxico Burress vs SD: Too many times this year I’ve been burned by the Jets passing game. No more, it ends here. The Chargers have allowed opposing WR’s to score just twice all year. Even more stunning stat: Burress has 14 catches on 37 targets! There is obviously some kind of disconnect between him and Sanchez. Time to cut bait.
WR2: Robert Meacham vs IND: The Colts stink against the pass, but it doesn’t matter. Meacham has become an afterthought in the Saints offense. With 61 total yards over the past two games. Targeted just twice all of last week. Colston, Graham, Henderson, Moore and Sproles are all above Meacham in the pecking order.
WR3: Mike Sims-Walker vs unemployment: In case you haven’t heard, Sims-Walker was released by the Rams. That’s equivalent to losing your job as a tenured teacher. You have to do something really, really wrong to lose that gig. The Rams big offseason acquisition was a bust from the start.
TE1: Marcedes Lewis vs BAL: With the release of David Garrard, so goeth Marcedes Lewis’ fantasy value. After breaking out with 700 yards and 10 TD’s in 2010, Lewis has become a complete non-factor with Blaine Gabbert. Lewis has 10 catches for 116 yards and zero scores. And here come the Ravens, the stingiest tight end defense in the league.
D/ST:  Steelers at ARI: This comes with a caveat. If Troy Polamalu cannot go due to a concussion, than this could be a dicey play. The team is a completely different animal without him in the lineup. If Polamalu plays, then forget all of this.
Suicide Pool Pick of the Week: Dallas is the easy choice. The Cowboys seem to circle the wagons after a bad loss and who better to ambush than the lowly Rams.