Week Two: Don’t jump off that Cliff

By Gary McPherson

Welcome to week two. Hopefully you are all 1-0 (though mathematically impossible, I’m legally binded to say that).

If you had Drew Brees, Tom Brady, or Ray Rice, you probably did win. And if you didn’t, then the rest of your team must be some hot trash.

As far as this blog’s predictions are concerned, week one saw some good (Fred Davis, Rashard Mendenhall, Plaxico), some bad (Marshawn Lynch, Cedric Benson) and some ugly (Austin Collie).

You can either thank me or send me hate mail.

Week two has me a bit worried and I’ll tell you why.

A lot of people complain about ‘that guy’ who always comes to the draft unprepared. He tries to draft guys who were drafted eight rounds earlier. He’s always trying to borrow your cheat sheets. And half the time he doesn’t even know when it is his turn.

Myself, I love having this guy in the league. Why not? It’s the circle of life. The strong prey on the weak. Once he has paid his money, he is free to ruin his team any way he chooses.

But this year, the doormat turned things around. He was focused and serious. He came prepared, even bringing more than one pen, in case his first died out.

At the draft, he went into some kind of trance. It reminded me of Will Ferrell in “Old School”, during the debate scene.

After his final pick, our guy shook his head and said ‘What just happened? I blacked out.’ He couldn’t remember whom he had selected, but it was one hell of a team.

That’s who I play this week and that is why I’m worried.  But it’s all luck anyway, right? Just ask the Jets. They know all about luck.

Put’Em In!

QB-Rex Grossman vs Arizona: Cam Newton is not that good, the Cardinals defense is that bad. Grossman will put up better numbers this week than guys like Matt Ryan, Joe Flacco and maybe even Drew Brees.

RB1-Joseph Addai vs Cleveland: It’s painfully obvious that the Colts will have to run to survive.

RB2-Fred Jackson vs Oakland: Teams coming across country on a short week is always a good thing. Bills could be this season’s Chiefs. Or the Chiefs could be last season’s Bills. Week two will help sort it out, but I still like Freddie Jax a whole lot.

WR1-Brandon Lloyd vs Cincy: I don’t care what happened in week one, the Bengals stink. The Broncos do too, so just be glad this isn’t a week 17 matchup that would only be watched by the parents of the players.

WR2-Nate Burleson vs KC: Eric Berry is a huge loss and all eyes will be on Calvin Johnson.

WR3-Johnny Knox vs Dallas: Roy Williams is questionable with a groin pull. Williams must have incriminating pictures of Mike Martz, because there is no other reason he should be starting. Look for Knox to take the job and run with it. Grab him now.

TE-Lance Kendricks at NYG: The Giants surrendered 126 yards to tight ends last week. The injury to Danny Amendola helps Kendricks, who was targeted five times against the Eagles, but had a couple of drops.

DEF/ST-Tampa Bay at Minnesota: You all saw Donovan McNabb last week, right?

Take’em Out!

QB- Ben Roethlisberger vs Seattle: Not a dig on Ben, but more so on the Seahawks. The Steelers will be out for blood and this game should be put away by halftime.

RB1-Maurice Jones-Drew vs Jets: I don’t care what you say, week one was a fluke. The Jags are bad and will be playing from behind all game.

RB2-DeAngelo Williams vs Green Bay: I don’t understand why the Panthers gave DeAngelo all that money to be in a time share. Until either he or J-Stew take a back seat, I can’t recommend either. At least things are going better for this DeAngelo than this D'Angelo.

WR1-Wes Welker at San Diego: Not that I don’t love Welker, but if there was ever a time to sell high, this is it. Put him on the block this week as if he were a top five overall receiver and see who bites.

WR2-Kenny Britt vs Baltimore: Britt was a monster last week, but it was largely due to some busted plays on behalf of the Jags D. The Ravens won’t make the same mistakes.

WR3-Jeremy Maclin at Atlanta: It’s obvious that Maclin is not up to game speed just yet. Brent Celek had as many week one targets! If you have Maclin, hold onto him. If you don’t have him, try to get him from an owner with an itchy trigger finger.

TE-Scott Chandler vs Oakland: Tell me you heard of Scott Chandler before week one and I will call shenanigans! Let us never speak this name again.

K-Nate Kaeding vs the operating room: For all you clowns who thought you were smart and took a kicker way too early in the draft.

D/ST-Chicago at New Orleans: The Bears defense looked good in week one. Scratch that. The Falcons showed their true colors and looked like bums. Want to bet on the Saints starting 0-2? I didn’t think so.

Suicide Pool Pick of the Week: For all of you who took my advice in week one and stuck with Arizona, you’re welcome. You probably won’t ever get that chance again.

The Steelers are the safest pick for week two, but you’ve got to optimize your choices. Pittsburgh still has games against the Bengals, the Browns, Jacksonville and the 49ers.

The Jets schedule, however, is not as easy. You might not have another opportunity to take the Meadowlands’ ugly stepsister down the stretch. No way on earth the Jaguars start 2-0. The Jets are your play of the week.